Insanity. Also, this may turn out to be the longest of my dreams thus far.
The very first dream I had last night (that I know of) was very close to reality. I dreamed that I was asleep on an air mattress (the very air mattress on which I was actually sleeping, in the very same room). The going away party for one of the house dwellers (that really was taking place) could be heard (in my dream) coming from downstairs.
What was unlike reality (but not far from it) was that the air mattress was absorbing my body. I dreamed that, because I had no sheet between me and the air mattress that the heat of my body had caused it to melt onto me. Then (this is disgusting and, at the time, I thought it to be real), as I attempted to remove my body from the mattress, I ripped the skin off of my body, revealing muscles and bone. It was a bloody mess. As I tried to clean it up, knowing very well that the owner of the house would be very displeased, I heard a knock on my door. At that instant I thought, "Oh, I'm dreaming, but the knock is real."
So I managed to wake myself up. I don't think that the knock was real, though it very well may have been.
I spent the next hour trying to go back to sleep, but the memory of the previous dream would not allow such an escape. Finally, after turning on my cell phone and looking at the time (3:30), I knew that I had no choice but to return to bed. I soon entered into another dream.
At the onset of the dream, I was in my parents' bedroom with Kelli Lusk (a friend, and my boss' sister). In the dream she did not speak English, and I had a very tough time communicating with her. She was wearing a ridiculous purple dress and, atop that, a brown hooded sweatshirt. She was looking in the mirror, uttering something that I could not comprehend, so I left the room.
I proceeded to run outside, down State Road 23 (the road beside which my parents' house rests), down to the stop sign, and then back toward my house. When I returned to the front yard, I was shocked to discover that Caitlin Geeslin (a friend of my from college) had arrived in a blue Mini-Cooper (I don't know much about cars, but I think that is what the vehicle was), which was decorated with streamers and such. But that was not what shocked me; it was the things she brought. In her hand, she had a small telescope, which was an antique, and could have been quite valuable. She had also guided in a giant telescope. It was most likely over 100 feet tall, and probably 40 feet wide. The thing took up most of my front yard and some of my neighbors. I went to take a peak to see what I could see through the thing, but Caitlin told me it would have to wait until later. I never did get to look through that telescope (foreshadowing?).
Caitlin and I then walked into the garage and discovered a wild party going on inside (wild meaning disco lights, dancing, and punch). We went over and enjoyed some punch (well, I didn't really enjoy it; I never do) and looked on at the people there. Then the lights went down and some slow music began to play. Contrary to what one would suspect happened next, David Badertcher (the husband of my "boss" and the maintenance man at the camp at which I work in the summer) walked up for me and asked me to dance with him. I accepted, and we began to twirl around. I, assuming that David was joking around, began to do some funny dance moves, but David seemed to be seriously trying to dance well. He wasn't that bad, but people laughed regardless. By the end of the dance, I realized that it was his type of humor to act as if he took our dance quite seriously.
After the dance, I went inside my house so that I could change into something more comfortable (I was wearing the colorful shirt handed down to me from Kyle Heffelfinger, along with pants). I entered my parents' bedroom and removed my shoes and pants (I was still relatively clothed) when, without warning. Caitlin opened the door and nearly walked in on me. I quickly hid in the corner behind the door, where I could not be seen, and asked her to go away. She did, but right when she left, Kelli walked in on me. Fortunately I was still behind the door, so I was still hidden. However, for one reason or another, I snapped and yelled angrily at Kelli, causing her to say something in her primitive language and run away. This then caused Penny (my family's little dog), Naeko (my friend Jeff's dog, which may be spelled incorrectly), and a clone of Naeko to run out from under my parents' bed and attack me. Penny (who has always been very passive) bit hard into my right forearm.
The scene immediately cut to me laying on the couch with my mother attending to my wounds, explaining to me that Penny doesn't usually bite people.
Then, as if that dream were not enough, I entered into a different dream.
I was substitute teaching for the P.E. teacher. However, instead of taking place at a school, it took place at a Medieval castle. I was in the courtyard with all the kids, and Mrs. Pucel (who was my 4th, 5th, and 6th grade teacher and for whom I have been a substitute) was giving me instructions on what to do. This day was to be different from typical days, for all the kids in the school would have P.E. at some point during the day instead of just a few. She then handed me a clipboard with students names and left, going inside the castle.
I was alone with 100 kids. However, I knew what I wanted to do. I happened to have a truckload of inflatable pools (they were all bright yellow and had a fountain system build into them). I unloaded these, hooked them up to various hoses that were laying around, and, on the spot, invented about eight different games that could be played with the pools and with the multi-colored pit balls that I also happened to have with me (the kind one could find in a Chuck E. Cheese's).
As the children played the various games (I had different games for each age group), a secretary ran out of the castle and informed me that I would have some of the classes more than once, so I would have to create different games. I was out of ideas, but fortunately, my dream changed completely.
I was no longer a substitute gym teacher at a castle. Instead, I was running a 'get together' at a state park picnic area. There were tons of people there, meaning that there was tons to do. I had some of my minions (really they were just acquaintances) grilling hot dogs and hamburgers (typical). I also had a few games set up. There was a relay race taking place on one side of the picnic area and a few friendly games of horseshoes being played on the other side. I was located under a large tent in the center of the picnic area, overseeing the most interesting game of all.
The game was much like ping-pong, except instead of a ping-pong ball there was a little sausage, and instead of the ping-pong paddles there were hot-dog roasters (not the nice and sturdy kind, but the short and flimsy kind). The sausages being used were coming hot off the grill, so there was a little danger involved.
The game I was observing was a game of doubles being played by four friends of mine. Chuck Zook and Jenee' Antoniu were playing against Katie Zook and a friend my subconscious created. The game was very friendly until Katie accidentally hit Jenee' in the hand with a hot sausage. Well, it was a serve, and because it hit Katie's side first, it still counted as a point for Katie's team. (By the way, this game defies physics.) This started a very horrible precedent, for now the players were aiming for their opponents' bodies instead of their opponents' side of the table. Furthermore, as other people looked on, they began to become excited about the idea of throwing hot sausages at people. It was not long before half of the people attending the 'get together' were armed with sausages fresh off the grill, throwing them at people.
I had to do something about this, for people were being injured all around me. I decided to use my voice and scream at anyone throwing a sausage. Now, I'm not much of a yeller, but I seemed to do it quite a bit in these dreams. Interestingly enough, it was effective. People began to stop the dangerous game, and they threw the sausages away. However, one kid had to get his finally throw in. He managed to hit somebody in the eye, causing instant blindness. I ran over to the kid, turned him around, and scolded him harshly, spraying spit in his face as I yelled.
Then I realized that I was scolding the wrong person. Instead of yelling at the perpetrator, I was yelling at Katie, who was not doing anything wrong. I apologized several times for my mistake, even getting on my knees, begging for her forgiveness. To my surprise, she shrugged it off an forgave me without any sort of mean or 'correcting' thing to say to me. She went back to her game. Her next hit, she accidentally hit her brother Chuck in the arm with a sausage, but I let it slide.
Then I awoke. I hate to imaging what this dream expresses about me subconscious. Congratulations to those of you who actually read this far. You are very supportive of my ridiculousness.
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