In my dream I was visiting Bethel College. I pulled up in a green car (I've never owned a green vehicle) and parked it on the street outside the main entrance (where cars are not allowed to park). As I walked by the fountain, I saw a very tall and loud evangelist, who was nicely dressed in a black suit, standing by the water, screaming out the word of God.
I walked by him, for I had come to meet up with Kevin. There were a large number of people in the area, most of which were having picnics (which is definitely not usual). As I walked past the evangelist, he began to shout at me, asking, "What is your name and why are you here?" I turned and noticed that Kevin was there to meet me. I didn't want to give this crazy dude my real information, so I made up a name and told him I was just exercising. Unfortunately, Kevin pointed out my lie and said, "That's not your name, Joe. Don't lie."
Then the evangelist walked up to me, with a strange confidence, then swiftly put his hand in the back of my pants and yanked out a fistful of butt hair (I know that is absolutely disgusting, but it is extremely interesting). He held it up and yelled, gaining the attention of all the people within earshot. "This is why you have come!"
Then I awoke.
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