So bizarre.
I dreamt that I was visiting Calvin Whetstone. In the dream he lived with his parents in a huge and fancy house on a vast property of painting-like grassy pastures and woods. There were white fences running all around and within the property, and their arrangement didn't make much sense to me. They had dozens of old expensive cars and pure bred dogs.
For some reason I was spending the night with Calvin in his bedroom. He slept on a mattress on the floor and I just had a sleeping bag. There was a divider between us and I had a CRT TV on my half of the room. I turned it on and played the VHS that was in the built-in VHS player and watched a claymation Calvin discuss a song from his newly released worship album (the album a thing from reality). I was amazed at how excellent the claymation was, and a bit jealous that Calvin could create something so fantastic with no previous experience. However, the stop-motion video was followed by a terribly shot 90s style punk-band music video, though perhaps it was intentionally created to look bad.
I asked Calvin how he got into stop-motion, but the question wasn't answered. Calvin's mom walked into the bedroom to check in on us and see if we needed anything. She was wearing a turquoise skirt, turquoise high-heels, and no shirt or top whatsoever. I don't know what Calvin's mom looks like in real life, but this woman was tall and had long blonde hair and a chest like mine (aka, the chest of a 12-year-old boy). It was so strange, though she didn't seem to think it was a big deal at all. After she left the room (which took longer than Calvin and I wished), Calvin expressed his painful embarrassment at his mother's behavior, but in the dream I didn't care at all and said that if men can go topless without women caring, then women should be able to go topless without men caring (how wonderfully feminist of my subconscious self).
Anyway, I went to sleep.
When I awoke, the property had become a war zone. Some invaders from a nonexistent country had taken over the Whetstone estate and were using it as a military base. A few gunmen burst into the bedroom and kidnapped Calvin. Fortunately for me they didn't check behind the divider. I looked out the window as soon as they left so that I could see the chaos. I saw that not too far off was a huge crater with a tunnel from which large tank-like vehicles were emerging and disappearing into.
I snuck out of the house and ventured into the tunnel, ducking behind rocks and dirt mounds as tankish vehicles passed. It was pure darkness after a bit until at last I reached a wooden door in the dirt wall at the end of the tunnel. I opened it up and found The Kingpin from the 90s Spider-Man cartoon telling a few of his henchmen to patrol the area. I also saw my brother Mike tied to a post.
As soon as the henchmen and Kingpin left the room, I untied Mike. Instead of expressing distress, he asked me if I wanted to play my melodica while he played the djembe. I told him we could if we escaped this military base. Without warning, Kingpin returned and called his henchmen in to destroy us. Mike and I climbed up the pole to which he had been tied and made our way into a room above that room through a skinny hole in the ceiling with a circular trap door.
We made it just in time, though Kingpin's head was sticking up out of the hole as we tried to close the trap door. He seemed immune to pain as Mike and I tried to stomp his head down the hole. Luckily his body was too big to get all the way through, so he was only able to shout profanities at us without doing any physical harm.
Mike and I fought off a couple of henchmen, then took over a 4-wheeler that one of them was riding and we fled the scene. Mike drove while I rode behind. I found a camera in my pocket so I started shooting video of the chase scene that then took place. Mike rocketed through scarily dark tunnels while simultaneously dodging other 4-wheeler-riding henchmen that were trying to crash into us. It was seriously impressive.
Finally Mike was able to lose our pursuers and we hid out in a beautiful blue cave with a small lake inside of it. There happened to be a melodica and a djembe there on the shore and Mike and I proceeded to jam out for a solid half of an hour. Then Mike said he wanted to explore a bit more, so we took a hike.
After walking through many dark and shapeless passageways we came upon a metal door with a crank to open it. I opened it up and found a futuristically furnished room with a bunch of people sitting in fancy metal chairs in a circle in the center of the room. It looked like the Jedi council or something, though it turned out to be the Prairie Camp staff (and a few other people whom I do not know in real life) having a meeting. Mike Phipps stood up and threw a dart at a futuristic, holographic dart board.
Then I awoke.
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