Dream #167 (March 31, 2010)

This is a dull way to end a solid month of dreams.

I don't remember much of last night's dream. In fact, I only recall that I was hanging out with some Regent people at a party in some apartment that resembled an apartment in which I once assisted with the production of a short film. Other than that, I don't know anything.

I did awake this morning. I didn't get very much sleep at all last night, which may account for the lack of dream memory.

Dream #166 (March 30, 2010)

A dream of camp.

In my dream last night, Kevin Chupp and I took a group of Prairie Camp teens and kids to a large farm. Kevin drove the bus as I tried to entertain the passengers with song and dance, which did not work all that well as I had hoped. When we finally arrived at the farm, I led the people off of the bus and into a field, where we began an ultimate game of capture the flag.

The game, though a little chaotic, ran quite smoothly, especially for the age and size difference between the people involved. They seemed to be enjoying themselves, so Kevin and I sat in a couple of lawn chairs (the kind you lay in) and watched the game.

Because we paid such close attention to the action, we did not see a young boy crawl on top of the bus. When I finally noticed him, he was trying to pull a little girl to the top of the bus with a rope. I immediately ran over there to stop him. Luckily the girl was only a foot off the ground when I made it there. I told the boy to stay put until I got him down. When I did so, I handed him over to Kevin to be punished.

I went back to watching the game, which had turned into a disaster. Morgan Ferch (my neighbor) approached me and informed me that many people, including Josh Cavinder (my little brother's classmate), were cheating. I am not a fan of cheating, so I dealt with the problem by exiling all cheaters from the game. I don't really know how I knew who was cheating, but I did.

As I was walking back to my lawn chair, where Kevin was waiting for me, drinking tea, I fell into a large hole.

Then I awoke.

Dream #165 (March 29, 2010)

Don't ask (not that anyone ever does).


I dreamed that I was at some sort of acting conference. This took place in a large theater with an enormous amount of seating. I was alone among thousands of strangers. The stage was a little too purple, the seats were a little too narrow, and the lighting was a little too dim; thus I was not having a good time.

After siting through a long and dull lecture about acting for romance films (a genre I cannot stand), the instructor informed the audience that it was time to practice kissing. Each person there was to turn to the next person and kiss that person, male or female, stranger or not. That terrified me, for during the entire lecture I had not bothered to even glance at the person to my left (the seat to my right was empty). Was it a girl or guy?

I turned my head and was glad to see a female sitting next to me, looking at me. After my eyes adjusted to the dim lighting (even dimmer than the lighting on the stage), I was surprised that I recognized the woman to be Nicole Kidman. Now, in real life, Nicole Kidman is over forty years old, but in my dream she was only in her twenties and looked much different than she does now.

After the initial surprise and delight wore off, I began to feel anxious and scared. I am probably not a good kisser. In fact, I believe it to be a goofy and ridiculous action. I was surely going to be embarrassed by my efforts. Nicole was looking a little impatient, for the instructor had already ordered the audience to practice what they had learned (had they been paying attention, unlike me). Finally, after much hesitation, I leaned in and kissed Nicole, with very little (if any) feeling, for a very short time. For some reason, she was pleased by my work.

Then the instructor ended the seminar and people all around began to get up and leave in awkward silence (I assume they were stunned by the action they had to take). However, Nicole proceeded to give me her phone number, instructing me to call her sometime.

What? I never get this kind of attention, nor do I desire it.

Without saying a word to Nicole, I left. As I was walking up to the top exit (everyone else was going to the bottom exit), I ran into David Badertscher and Jeff Kreider. They asked me whom I had kissed. I told them what had happened, and they, to my surprise, believed me. I asked them the question they asked me, and they informed me they did not participate. Lucky for them.

I continued out the door and found Adam Pflugshaupt (an old high school classmate). He was attending a taco bar, so I decided to make myself a Pflugshaupt Taco. As I worked on my creation, Adam told me that he heard about my interaction with Nicole Kidman (I don't know how it had 'gotten around' so fast). He then told me that I should "totally go for that."

Once he said that, I looked up and saw Nicole, looking at me from about fifty feet away. She smiled at me. I did not react.

Well, maybe I did react, for I immediately fled into another dream. I do often run away from my problems.


I was in Koontz Lake Missionary Church at some kids' program, which was going on in the sanctuary. There were streamers, balloons, dancing, and singing. I stood outside the sanctuary, looking in. After several minutes of this, I decided to leave. On my way out, I ran into Morgan Ferch (my neighbor) and a friend of hers (that does not exist). She told me that she was excited for her birthday party, or something along those lines.

After waving, I proceeded to get into my car (a gold Buick, like something an old woman would drive). I started it up and drove home.

The home I went to was much smaller than the home in real life. In fact, it was only one room, and all of the beds, the desk, the files, the computer, and the kitchen table were crammed into the space, leaving absolutely no walking room. There were papers everywhere, and my bed was only a foot from the ceiling. I jumped up into my bunk and opened up my mail, discovering three checks: one from my grandfather on my father's side, one from my grandfather on my mother's side, and one from Katelyn Presnell. In my dream, she was paying me for a video I produced for her. However, when my mother saw the check, she assumed that I had a girlfriend. I tried to tell her that I didn't, but she would not believe me. Frustrated, I jumped from my bed and out the door (in a single leap), but in the process I knocked over my father's desk at which he was working, making papers fly in all directions.


Then I awoke.

Dream # 164 (March 28, 2010)

Insanity. Also, this may turn out to be the longest of my dreams thus far.


The very first dream I had last night (that I know of) was very close to reality. I dreamed that I was asleep on an air mattress (the very air mattress on which I was actually sleeping, in the very same room). The going away party for one of the house dwellers (that really was taking place) could be heard (in my dream) coming from downstairs.

What was unlike reality (but not far from it) was that the air mattress was absorbing my body. I dreamed that, because I had no sheet between me and the air mattress that the heat of my body had caused it to melt onto me. Then (this is disgusting and, at the time, I thought it to be real), as I attempted to remove my body from the mattress, I ripped the skin off of my body, revealing muscles and bone. It was a bloody mess. As I tried to clean it up, knowing very well that the owner of the house would be very displeased, I heard a knock on my door. At that instant I thought, "Oh, I'm dreaming, but the knock is real."

So I managed to wake myself up. I don't think that the knock was real, though it very well may have been.

I spent the next hour trying to go back to sleep, but the memory of the previous dream would not allow such an escape. Finally, after turning on my cell phone and looking at the time (3:30), I knew that I had no choice but to return to bed. I soon entered into another dream.


At the onset of the dream, I was in my parents' bedroom with Kelli Lusk (a friend, and my boss' sister). In the dream she did not speak English, and I had a very tough time communicating with her. She was wearing a ridiculous purple dress and, atop that, a brown hooded sweatshirt. She was looking in the mirror, uttering something that I could not comprehend, so I left the room.

I proceeded to run outside, down State Road 23 (the road beside which my parents' house rests), down to the stop sign, and then back toward my house. When I returned to the front yard, I was shocked to discover that Caitlin Geeslin (a friend of my from college) had arrived in a blue Mini-Cooper (I don't know much about cars, but I think that is what the vehicle was), which was decorated with streamers and such. But that was not what shocked me; it was the things she brought. In her hand, she had a small telescope, which was an antique, and could have been quite valuable. She had also guided in a giant telescope. It was most likely over 100 feet tall, and probably 40 feet wide. The thing took up most of my front yard and some of my neighbors. I went to take a peak to see what I could see through the thing, but Caitlin told me it would have to wait until later. I never did get to look through that telescope (foreshadowing?).

Caitlin and I then walked into the garage and discovered a wild party going on inside (wild meaning disco lights, dancing, and punch). We went over and enjoyed some punch (well, I didn't really enjoy it; I never do) and looked on at the people there. Then the lights went down and some slow music began to play. Contrary to what one would suspect happened next, David Badertcher (the husband of my "boss" and the maintenance man at the camp at which I work in the summer) walked up for me and asked me to dance with him. I accepted, and we began to twirl around. I, assuming that David was joking around, began to do some funny dance moves, but David seemed to be seriously trying to dance well. He wasn't that bad, but people laughed regardless. By the end of the dance, I realized that it was his type of humor to act as if he took our dance quite seriously.

After the dance, I went inside my house so that I could change into something more comfortable (I was wearing the colorful shirt handed down to me from Kyle Heffelfinger, along with pants). I entered my parents' bedroom and removed my shoes and pants (I was still relatively clothed) when, without warning. Caitlin opened the door and nearly walked in on me. I quickly hid in the corner behind the door, where I could not be seen, and asked her to go away. She did, but right when she left, Kelli walked in on me. Fortunately I was still behind the door, so I was still hidden. However, for one reason or another, I snapped and yelled angrily at Kelli, causing her to say something in her primitive language and run away. This then caused Penny (my family's little dog), Naeko (my friend Jeff's dog, which may be spelled incorrectly), and a clone of Naeko to run out from under my parents' bed and attack me. Penny (who has always been very passive) bit hard into my right forearm.

The scene immediately cut to me laying on the couch with my mother attending to my wounds, explaining to me that Penny doesn't usually bite people.

Then, as if that dream were not enough, I entered into a different dream.

I was substitute teaching for the P.E. teacher. However, instead of taking place at a school, it took place at a Medieval castle. I was in the courtyard with all the kids, and Mrs. Pucel (who was my 4th, 5th, and 6th grade teacher and for whom I have been a substitute) was giving me instructions on what to do. This day was to be different from typical days, for all the kids in the school would have P.E. at some point during the day instead of just a few. She then handed me a clipboard with students names and left, going inside the castle.

I was alone with 100 kids. However, I knew what I wanted to do. I happened to have a truckload of inflatable pools (they were all bright yellow and had a fountain system build into them). I unloaded these, hooked them up to various hoses that were laying around, and, on the spot, invented about eight different games that could be played with the pools and with the multi-colored pit balls that I also happened to have with me (the kind one could find in a Chuck E. Cheese's).

As the children played the various games (I had different games for each age group), a secretary ran out of the castle and informed me that I would have some of the classes more than once, so I would have to create different games. I was out of ideas, but fortunately, my dream changed completely.

I was no longer a substitute gym teacher at a castle. Instead, I was running a 'get together' at a state park picnic area. There were tons of people there, meaning that there was tons to do. I had some of my minions (really they were just acquaintances) grilling hot dogs and hamburgers (typical). I also had a few games set up. There was a relay race taking place on one side of the picnic area and a few friendly games of horseshoes being played on the other side. I was located under a large tent in the center of the picnic area, overseeing the most interesting game of all.

The game was much like ping-pong, except instead of a ping-pong ball there was a little sausage, and instead of the ping-pong paddles there were hot-dog roasters (not the nice and sturdy kind, but the short and flimsy kind). The sausages being used were coming hot off the grill, so there was a little danger involved.

The game I was observing was a game of doubles being played by four friends of mine. Chuck Zook and Jenee' Antoniu were playing against Katie Zook and a friend my subconscious created. The game was very friendly until Katie accidentally hit Jenee' in the hand with a hot sausage. Well, it was a serve, and because it hit Katie's side first, it still counted as a point for Katie's team. (By the way, this game defies physics.) This started a very horrible precedent, for now the players were aiming for their opponents' bodies instead of their opponents' side of the table. Furthermore, as other people looked on, they began to become excited about the idea of throwing hot sausages at people. It was not long before half of the people attending the 'get together' were armed with sausages fresh off the grill, throwing them at people.

I had to do something about this, for people were being injured all around me. I decided to use my voice and scream at anyone throwing a sausage. Now, I'm not much of a yeller, but I seemed to do it quite a bit in these dreams. Interestingly enough, it was effective. People began to stop the dangerous game, and they threw the sausages away. However, one kid had to get his finally throw in. He managed to hit somebody in the eye, causing instant blindness. I ran over to the kid, turned him around, and scolded him harshly, spraying spit in his face as I yelled.

Then I realized that I was scolding the wrong person. Instead of yelling at the perpetrator, I was yelling at Katie, who was not doing anything wrong. I apologized several times for my mistake, even getting on my knees, begging for her forgiveness. To my surprise, she shrugged it off an forgave me without any sort of mean or 'correcting' thing to say to me. She went back to her game. Her next hit, she accidentally hit her brother Chuck in the arm with a sausage, but I let it slide.


Then I awoke. I hate to imaging what this dream expresses about me subconscious. Congratulations to those of you who actually read this far. You are very supportive of my ridiculousness.

Dream #163 (March 27, 2010)

A dream.

I was driving an old white car on the backroads of Goshen, Indiana in the middle of the night. After driving through a few corn fields, stoplights, and sheds, my car broke down on 119. I exited the vehicle to see what was the matter, only to discover Justin Allen, who in the dream had several scars on his face and a forest green hoodie. He smiled at me menacingly, then turned and walked away.

I walked around my car a few times, inspecting it, trying to see if I could do anything at all to make the situation better. Finally, my parents pulled up in their blue Ford. My dad, who was driving, rolled down his window and asked me if I needed some assistance. Well, I told him no, and he drove away.

Providing positive reinforcement for my poor choice, my car started right up when my parents were gone. Thinking nothing of it, I pulled onto State Road 19.

Then I awoke.

Dream #162 (March 26, 2010)

This is on the long side, and it is also a bit weird (and wonderful).

The first section of the dream placed me on the deck of a boat in the middle of the ocean on a cloudy night. This deck had a stage, weird yellow lighting, and folding chairs, and was the setting of two consecutive motivational speeches, both of which I was attending. The first was given by a Jewish giant (he must have been at least nine feet tall). It was very boring, and I don't really remember what it was about (probably because I was staring at my feet the majority of the time, lost in my own thoughts). After the first speaker, there was an intermission, during which I went back to my submarine for a quick snack.

The giant yellow submarine, parked right next to the big ship, had many large windows, and all kinds of snacks (mostly various types of cereal). After eating some Rice Chex (reoccurring theme?) I went back to the deck of the ship. Shortly after my arrival, a leprechaun leaped up onto the stage and gave a very entertaining speech. He told all kinds of funny life stories (I don't remember their contents, except for one bicycle story, a near death, which I experienced in my own life), and at the end everyone began to laugh. Well, I did not laugh, for I did not get his joke. I asked the person next to me what was so funny, and he told me that his entire half hour speech was one fantastic and elaborate joke. I didn't get it still, so I decided to replay the entire speech in my head (which I was able to do perfectly). After watching the entire speech again in my head, I began to laugh hysterically. I finally got it.

Then I found myself in another dream. I was in the basement of my parents' house, next to the piano, and I was creating an elaborate scheme. I was going to sell muffins and pretzels for much more than they were worth. Ingenious. I had all the little ziplock bags of pretzels (they were the short and fat sticks; honey I believe) lined up in rows on the white table, along with some printed out pieces of paper with my overpricing plans. Suddenly the youngest brother and sister of Greg Neumayer came downstairs and began asking me several questions about what I was doing. Because of their innocence I explained that I was going to sell the pretzels and muffins on the streets at very low prices so that hungry people could eat. Then they said they wanted to go with me, which ruined all of my plans.

We hit the streets (it was the middle of the night, and a little intimidating) and set up several long wooden tables up on the sidewalk and began calling for customers. Well, logically, the only customers we found in the middle of the night in the middle of the city were a bunch of gang members. They circled around us and stared down upon us. Then, oddly, they all fell to the ground, clutching their stomachs (there must have been a hundred of them), and they all shouted out in pain. They were very hungry.

Suddenly, I felt compassion on the poor teens. Then and there I decided to give away all of my pretzels and muffins, free of charge, forsaking my 'elaborate' scheme of overpricing them. I passed all the food out, with the help of the Neumayers, giving a bag of pretzels and a muffin to every individual.

After a while, they all thanked me and left, except for one young man, who was still on the ground in pain. I walked over to him and (this is where this dream takes a very odd turn), he suddenly disappeared and reappeared ten feet away. He repeated this action several times until he reappeared right in front of me. I then told him about a group called the X-Men who could help him control his powers (apparently I was already a member of the X-Men, which I haven't read anything about for a very long time).

Together we went into the secret X-Men warehouse. There we talked to professor Xavier, who then took us into a weird giant room filled with vats of neon green chemicals.

Then I awoke.

Dream #161 (March 25, 2010)

I don't really remember this dream. I know that this morning I remembered it and thought it very boring.

The only part of the dream I remember took place in a YMCA where I was playing some mean racquetball. I was wearing short shorts, goggles, and a long-sleeve jersey (if such a thing exists), and I was full of energy. I honestly don't know how racquetball works, so I probably was playing it incorrectly in my dream.

Well, I woke up at some point in the dream. There may or may not have been more.